ZERO Review - One-Zero.

What does it take for a superstar who’s done 57 films over 25 years to play a vertically challenged individual on screen? What does it take for a director-writer duo who specialise in transporting an urban sense of reality to small-town India to fit this superstar’s oeuvre? And, where do two lead female actors - one glorious, the other gloriously offensive - come in? I walked out of ZERO debating these questions, along with one other - what the hell did I just watch? Because Aanand L. Rai’s latest offering starts off in Merut, moves to New York and finally culminates in Mars. His multi-planetary sensation is equal parts dazzling and bewildering.

It stars Shah Rukh Khan as Bauaa Singh, a vertically challenged 38 year old man, who doesn’t let his circumstances break his stride. He has a chance encounter with Aafia Yusafzai Bhinder (Anushka Sharma), a scientist with cerebral palsy who’s just discovered that there’s signs of water on Mars. She’s gleeful, drinks and just like Bauaa, isn’t held back by her disability. Then, there’s Babita Kumari (Katrina Kaif), an alcoholic superstar, whose cheating boyfriend (ironically titled Mr. Kapoor) has put her in a boozy slump that she just can’t seem to get herself out of.

There’s also supporting players - Mohammed Zeeshan Ayyub, who seems to have become Bollywood’s go-to to play the Khan’s comic relief and Tigmanshu Dhulia who steals the earlier scenes he has. And, perhaps, most evidently - there’s a galaxy of stars, who add little to the film, but Sridevi’s last and final appearance will make your heart skip a beat. Aanand and writer Himanshu Sharma, who’ve collaborated on projects like Raanjhanaa (2013) and the Tanu Weds Manu Series (2011, 2015), have a special ability to deftly combine small town charm with a new-age sense of belonging.

In their best works, there’s a sense of detachment, with dashes of realism. Zero also promises these things. In fact, in its opening scenes, Himanshu and Aanand are re-creating Tanu Weds Manu magic, scene by scene. But, the problems start slowly thereafter, when they introduce the problematic Anushka Sharma as the scientist Aafia, a patient of cerebral palsy. Anushka is a fine actor, having proven herself in films like Pari (2018), Ae Dil Hai Mushkil (2016) and NH10 (2015).

But, playing such an under-portrayed disease like cerebral palsy (the only recent example that comes to mind is Shonali Bose’s Margarita With A Straw (2014)) comes with its own challenges - and Sharma is both unconvincing and in places, offensive, because she sporadically drops it. The infinitely better Kalki Koechlin in that film was both more responsible and had a commitment to the portrayal. Anushka’s shtick feels more like a copout. Shah Rukh isn’t much better. It’s no doubt that he gives Zero all he can, but Bauaa feels too familiar - less like somebody you do know, more like Shah Rukh in every single one of his previous films.

His never-say-die attitude, his happy-go-lucky charm, his inoffensive innuendos and that dimply smile have served the actor’s outside persona, but with his slew of recent releases, I wonder whether in all those interviews and red carpets, the persona became the person. Shah Rukh charges Zero with a likability, but the performance is sloppy and lacks finesse. Holding Zero together, making up for her cameo appearance in another doomed Khan vehicle, Thugs of Hindostan (2018), is the knockout Katrina Kaif. We first meet Babita, drunk in a bathtub, smudged mascara is par for the course. She has a bottle of alcohol in her hand, she drinks, curses and hits frequently - yet, she has a magnetic sense to her. Aanand brings out a new version of Katrina, and it’s her best performances in years - if not the finest of her career. Babita has a shallow exterior, but a brittle and fragile interior. She compensates with drinks, not unlike Shah Rukh’s own Devdas. Babita is like the modern version of Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s 2002 Devdas, who drinks to get her lover’s attention.

It’s an inspired performance and whenever Katrina’s on screen, it’s surprisingly self-aware and deep acting. The first half of Zero trudges along, with a joke or two, mainly served by Ayyub and Tigmanshu. I also enjoyed Ajay-Atul’s ballad, Mere Naam Tu, which is the background score for about 512 of the films 509 scenes, but it’s an earworm and stuck in my head. I bet Aanand went into ZERO, earlier titled Katrina Meri Jaan in 2012, with a grand vision. But the result is an overambitious, over fertile, damp squib that loses all direction in a second half that drudges on until your patience has long run out.

It would be ironical to give Zero, well, zero stars. But there is a genuine labour that has gone into making this film. Its VFX is top notch. The sets, especially those set around a cinematic version of NASA, are simply stunning. Its plethora of cameos are interesting. It deserves more of a conversation.

So did the script, before the making of this film.